10 Apr 2017
If you've been following my content from the very beginning
you would've probably heard me mentioning wanting to study
to become a professional MUA (Make Up Artist). It wasn't a crazy
spur-of-the-moment decision, or anything like that. I've been
looking into doing this for about three years, and I still have the
same passion I did in the beginning.
In one of my very first videos, I briefly discuss my early experiences
with makeup. Growing up in an abusive home environment, and not
knowing how truly wrong it was. It isn't easy for me to discuss,
but I want to help someone who may be going through what I did.
To have it make such an impact on you and your aspirations so much
so that you give up on it.
Whenever I would experiment with makeup; My then step-father
would get so mad he demanded I remove my any makeup and say
I looked like a 'whore'. My mother would sit there stone-faced next
to him, even when it made me cry. This happened from age thirteen
on-wards to the point that I never wore makeup in front of him.
I wasn't wearing any crazy colours, and I didn't cake anything
on. I had on pink lipstick, and some shimmery silver eye shadow.
I didn't know how to do makeup yet, and my mother never tried
to teach me. She had mountains of beauty products, but was pretty
basic when it came to applying makeup. She has expensive taste,
and would get angry if I touched her products. I don't think I'll
ever truly understand her, or their combined treatment of me.
So, I stopped wearing makeup, for years until the end of year 12
(Senior year). Even then I only wore tinted lip balm, and liquid
eyeliner (if I had time to do so in the morning). This was ages ago,
literally right before Youtube was around. So I couldn't find makeup
tutorials, or how-to-style videos. These girls are doing so many women
of all ages a service, and I am forever grateful to the many I follow.
This is where I want to take the next step. It no longer makes me
sad/upset when I think of makeup. Not only have I come so far in my
makeup skills, but I am also confident I can do this with flying colours.
If you are going through anything like this, and need someone to
talk to feel free to email me. You're not alone.